[Barnabas turns his attention from Cid to looking forward as he walks.
Of course he'd choose to chatter.]
Raucous. As I knew it would be.
[Though he did garner some information, at least. Which is what he had been after. Even if he also found himself keeping an eye on Cid, watching silently who he bounced between at the party.
[The thing is, that's rather ideal to him, and his lack of comment likely emphasizes that fact. Chuckle all you like, Cid, but a quiet herd is a peaceful herd.
Though it is true that this is odd, the pangs of nostalgia come for Barnabas as well, and while he believes himself above them, his heart calmed through the gentle influence of Ultima's power, he feels that dull ache in his chest. That longing for a time before Cidolfus' departure, before he became the one who got away...]
Keeping track of my acquaintances, Cidolfus? It is not I who answers to you.
[Barnabas glances at him, at another cigarette being brought out to replace the last. He really was dependent upon them, wasn't he? A disgusting habit, one he shared with Benedikta and Hugo.
Silently he turns his gaze forward once more, choosing not to comment.]
[With how Cid feels the need for chatter, one might assume as much.]
Besides, do you intend to act as if bygones are simply bygones?
[Cidolfus left, fled Waloed and never looked back. Yet, here he would treat him as if that rift was never cleaved between them, as if he didn't depart like twenty years and their shared dream meant nothing.]
[He says coolly, because was it not fear that compelled him to flee? A fear of Barnabas? What Cid couldn't control, what he could not save?
Barnabas allows Cid's other questions to hang in the air for a little bit, it is true they have pressing concerns here now, but he would argue that they are of the same ilk as the ones prior. Their world was being consumed by the Blight, its total destruction fast approaching the horizon blackened with each passing day...
Yet Cidolfus still left, taking with him a crucial key to solving the impending apocalypse: himself.]
We do, yet it never stopped you before. What is different now—is it because we are stuck in a cage together? Are you concerned of our forced proximity?
[He stops walking, but he doesn't look at Cidolfus as he speaks.]
Benedikta spoke true when she sought to welcome you back, Cidolfus.
[Is all he has to say to that. He gets quiet when he truly gets pensive.]
Because the situation’s changed now, hasn’t it? We have to convince… some fucking entity that we’re worth saving. And we don’t know what it wants or expects. We should at least be allied. We can save the rest for later.
[He stares up at the sky for a moment, to the unfamiliar stars dotting the sky. The bit about being in a cage together did indeed change the parameters as well. He turns to face Barnabas.]
Come on… Don’t get stuck in the mud here. I would like to lay down eventually.
[The demand is understandable, when Cidolfus had been made to witness her death. Helpless to save her, helpless to do anything about it. The breath-robbing sense of grief in seeing someone you love killed before your eyes, and there is nothing you can do about it.
With his point made, he does not press upon it further, allowing Cid to explain himself, despite the irony of it. He speaks of how the situation is different, but ever has it remained the same—for Barnabas. Cid might not have know they were in this exact situation, all of mankind was on the chopping block, and it was Barnabas' task to prove they could be saved...had he known, would he have stayed? Would he have—]
Very well.
[He replies neutrally, both to Cid's answer and to the prompting to keep walking. Barnabas was ever tireless, but he knows that Cid does not hold within him the same strength. Not with how he's ran himself ragged, how he's been so careless with the curse.]
…As long as I’m able. [He says this with serious finality. Resolution and dedication.]
Just like last time. Except now it doesn’t look like I have anyone to inherit my task.
[There’s no Clive.]
[He clenches his jaw as he thinks of Mid. Could she still be saved? It was almost too much to bear. But bear he must. He speaks half of his train of thought without listening to himself.]
[Barnabas knows he means Midadol, and while he was present for the first five years of her life, his most recent interactions with her would not win Cidolfus' favor. After all, he doubts Cid would enjoy hearing how he razed the city they freed together to the ground in an effort to kill her, and draw out Mythos.
And so, he keeps quiet on that front.]
Then you must needs take every step with calculated care. You are not the newly awoken Thunder God you once were, and you cannot merely pass on the torch when it all becomes too much for you.
[Does he mean in this instance? Or perhaps when he "lost" his mind? He'll leave that up to Cidolfus' interpretation, because he doesn't care to clarify.
Especially with Cid laying it out plainly his awareness of the change that Ultima had done to Barnabas. Still, what Barnabas undergone was a necessary thing, a matter of proving loyalty, of submitting himself to the divine figure that would be their very salvation, the very God that Cidolfus seems to unwittingly be invoking and condemning within the same breath. That Cid cannot understand that...
Well, that is why Barnabas does not speak further on it.]
[Barnabas looks to Cid as the question is asked. He must truly be "cabbaged", as he put it, to be asking Barnabas such a question as that. Does he think Barnabas has anything to offer in the form of comforting words? Of some uncharacteristic optimism?
Would he even remember it if he did?]
I wager they still exist, in one way or another. The bounds of this realm and our wardens are presently inscrutable, but if there was naught to save then they would have little to bind the yoke about our necks.
[Something he's intimately familiar with, even if he denies that he bears shackles serving his own God.]
[His expression darkens slightly at Cid's coughing and gasping. A grim reminder of how weak he has become, the ugliness of his flickering spark of power and life. Where once stood a magnificent bolt of unending energy is now little more than the faint pulse of what once was.
It makes his chest tighten a fraction with the grief of Cid's loss, that he had experienced twice. Muted as it was in comparison to hers, but it was still a loss all the same. An attachment he had to sacrifice, had to be rid of, but that was not a painless process despite the aether that chokes his heart.]
Willing servants. Test subjects, perhaps. It could all be a lie, it could all be true. Should we blindly accept either without scrutiny or proof, it will doubtlessly mean our end.
[He turns his gaze forward as they continue down the path.]
Let me be clear. I don't know if I trust you again, yet.
But I don't think I have a choice. If something happens out here and I hesitate, that could be my end. Again.
[He knows a deathblow when he feels it.]
So I suppose I'm just left to hope and trust. [Cid rubs his forehead before crushing his cigarette underfoot. He coughs, more restrained this time. He holds his chest for a moment and wheezes, finally catching breath. ]
How strange, to be shackled by something so much more powerful than us that somehow requires our assistance or input? I don't get it, yet. I trust I'll figure it out, though.
[That Cid does not trust him still is arguably wise, even if Barnabas thinks his mistrust is ill-placed. Cid would name him a liar, yet he even stayed true to his purpose, to his principles. That Cid lacked the faith to see the bigger picture and the bloodprice needed to execute it is his own oversight.
Yet, once again Cid hits uncannily close to the circumstance Barnabas was in before their arrival here, though again Barnabas disregards the idea that he ever bore shackles for his God. No, Ultima released him from the chains that would bind him, that held him back, that allowed things like emotion and desires to ruin him and lead him astray...
This entity offers so such succor nor clarity.]
Even the most powerful require other beings in some manner.
[After all, didn't he?]
A shepherd without his flock is but a man without purpose.
[That catches Barnabas. How genuine it is, how earnest. Well did Barnabas know how it felt to be a child who had lost his mother, but a parent separated from his child...
He remains silent as they walk, purposeful in his steps while Cid's coordination seems to be quickly declining, Likely from the booze and his emotional state getting worse, and Barnabas is left to wonder how much he wishes to endure his bumbling blubbering. Perhaps if they continue in silence as they are, then he won't have to endure Cid's mourning over Mid and the unnavigable distance between them.]
Far too much by Barnabas' wager. Still, he stops and only halfway turns to look back at the sorry excuse for his ex-Lord Commander as he lays on the ground and weeps with grief over his daughter. There is no telling if their world as they know it still exists, yet Barnabas has reason to assume it must in some way. After all, they are from different points in time, and so depending on what allowed them to be here in the first place, this would greatly impact what state their world is likely in.
And he cannot accept that their world has been destroyed. There must be some explanation that makes sense.]
Cidolfus, to your feet.
[He has never been good at comforting much of anyone. Not even himself.]
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odinpusrex) wrote2016-06-28 11:46 am
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Of course he'd choose to chatter.]
Raucous. As I knew it would be.
[Though he did garner some information, at least. Which is what he had been after. Even if he also found himself keeping an eye on Cid, watching silently who he bounced between at the party.
Ever the socialite...]
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[Cid chuckles at the thought, he smokes his cigarette as they walk. It burns down quickly.]
[This is strange, almost nostalgic. Though his inebriation dulls his anger in the moment, making this easier to stand. Still, it's surreal.]
Make any new friends?
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Though it is true that this is odd, the pangs of nostalgia come for Barnabas as well, and while he believes himself above them, his heart calmed through the gentle influence of Ultima's power, he feels that dull ache in his chest. That longing for a time before Cidolfus' departure, before he became the one who got away...]
Some may believe themselves as that.
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Besides me.
[Damn, is his cigarette already finished? He pulls out a new one.]
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[Barnabas glances at him, at another cigarette being brought out to replace the last. He really was dependent upon them, wasn't he? A disgusting habit, one he shared with Benedikta and Hugo.
Silently he turns his gaze forward once more, choosing not to comment.]
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[He lights his cigarette and sighs on the exhale.]
Fine. What would you rather talk about?
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[With how Cid feels the need for chatter, one might assume as much.]
Besides, do you intend to act as if bygones are simply bygones?
[Cidolfus left, fled Waloed and never looked back. Yet, here he would treat him as if that rift was never cleaved between them, as if he didn't depart like twenty years and their shared dream meant nothing.]
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[He puffs on his cigarette, looking sideways at his travel companion.]
Don’t you? What good can come from bringing all of that here? We have bigger problems to solve, wouldn’t you say?
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[He says coolly, because was it not fear that compelled him to flee? A fear of Barnabas? What Cid couldn't control, what he could not save?
Barnabas allows Cid's other questions to hang in the air for a little bit, it is true they have pressing concerns here now, but he would argue that they are of the same ilk as the ones prior. Their world was being consumed by the Blight, its total destruction fast approaching the horizon blackened with each passing day...
Yet Cidolfus still left, taking with him a crucial key to solving the impending apocalypse: himself.]
We do, yet it never stopped you before. What is different now—is it because we are stuck in a cage together? Are you concerned of our forced proximity?
[He stops walking, but he doesn't look at Cidolfus as he speaks.]
Benedikta spoke true when she sought to welcome you back, Cidolfus.
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[Is all he has to say to that. He gets quiet when he truly gets pensive.]
Because the situation’s changed now, hasn’t it? We have to convince… some fucking entity that we’re worth saving. And we don’t know what it wants or expects. We should at least be allied. We can save the rest for later.
[He stares up at the sky for a moment, to the unfamiliar stars dotting the sky. The bit about being in a cage together did indeed change the parameters as well. He turns to face Barnabas.]
Come on… Don’t get stuck in the mud here. I would like to lay down eventually.
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With his point made, he does not press upon it further, allowing Cid to explain himself, despite the irony of it. He speaks of how the situation is different, but ever has it remained the same—for Barnabas. Cid might not have know they were in this exact situation, all of mankind was on the chopping block, and it was Barnabas' task to prove they could be saved...had he known, would he have stayed? Would he have—]
Very well.
[He replies neutrally, both to Cid's answer and to the prompting to keep walking. Barnabas was ever tireless, but he knows that Cid does not hold within him the same strength. Not with how he's ran himself ragged, how he's been so careless with the curse.]
Are you certain you will weather the journey?
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Just like last time. Except now it doesn’t look like I have anyone to inherit my task.
[There’s no Clive.]
[He clenches his jaw as he thinks of Mid. Could she still be saved? It was almost too much to bear. But bear he must. He speaks half of his train of thought without listening to himself.]
I have to have hope, for her.
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And so, he keeps quiet on that front.]
Then you must needs take every step with calculated care. You are not the newly awoken Thunder God you once were, and you cannot merely pass on the torch when it all becomes too much for you.
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[He shouldn’t say this, but he’s drunk.]
Whatever supernatural force that’s gripped your mind. I only hope it doesn’t command you here. If you start making madmen’s choices…
[Cid sighs.]
God help us.
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[Does he mean in this instance? Or perhaps when he "lost" his mind? He'll leave that up to Cidolfus' interpretation, because he doesn't care to clarify.
Especially with Cid laying it out plainly his awareness of the change that Ultima had done to Barnabas. Still, what Barnabas undergone was a necessary thing, a matter of proving loyalty, of submitting himself to the divine figure that would be their very salvation, the very God that Cidolfus seems to unwittingly be invoking and condemning within the same breath. That Cid cannot understand that...
Well, that is why Barnabas does not speak further on it.]
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[He takes a puff.]
Well. Not right now. I'm cabbaged.
[Even still, he's had too much to think about lately. It's hard not to fall into despair. ]
What do you think's happened to them all, Barney?
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Would he even remember it if he did?]
I wager they still exist, in one way or another. The bounds of this realm and our wardens are presently inscrutable, but if there was naught to save then they would have little to bind the yoke about our necks.
[Something he's intimately familiar with, even if he denies that he bears shackles serving his own God.]
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[He draws a little too hard on his cigarette and doubles over coughing. He shakes his head and spits, gasping for breath.]
But then what's the point of it all? What are they getting out of this?
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It makes his chest tighten a fraction with the grief of Cid's loss, that he had experienced twice. Muted as it was in comparison to hers, but it was still a loss all the same. An attachment he had to sacrifice, had to be rid of, but that was not a painless process despite the aether that chokes his heart.]
Willing servants. Test subjects, perhaps. It could all be a lie, it could all be true. Should we blindly accept either without scrutiny or proof, it will doubtlessly mean our end.
[He turns his gaze forward as they continue down the path.]
For now we endure.
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But I don't think I have a choice. If something happens out here and I hesitate, that could be my end. Again.
[He knows a deathblow when he feels it.]
So I suppose I'm just left to hope and trust. [Cid rubs his forehead before crushing his cigarette underfoot. He coughs, more restrained this time. He holds his chest for a moment and wheezes, finally catching breath. ]
How strange, to be shackled by something so much more powerful than us that somehow requires our assistance or input? I don't get it, yet. I trust I'll figure it out, though.
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Yet, once again Cid hits uncannily close to the circumstance Barnabas was in before their arrival here, though again Barnabas disregards the idea that he ever bore shackles for his God. No, Ultima released him from the chains that would bind him, that held him back, that allowed things like emotion and desires to ruin him and lead him astray...
This entity offers so such succor nor clarity.]
Even the most powerful require other beings in some manner.
[After all, didn't he?]
A shepherd without his flock is but a man without purpose.
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I miss my little lamb.
[Oh no, was he getting that drunk? He almost sounded tearful.]
[His walking gets worse, his coordination sloppier.]
[He doesn't say anything else.]
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He remains silent as they walk, purposeful in his steps while Cid's coordination seems to be quickly declining, Likely from the booze and his emotional state getting worse, and Barnabas is left to wonder how much he wishes to endure his bumbling blubbering. Perhaps if they continue in silence as they are, then he won't have to endure Cid's mourning over Mid and the unnavigable distance between them.]
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They took my baby girl from me.
[It's so quiet and mournful that it is nearly incomprehensible. He begins to sob.]
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Far too much by Barnabas' wager. Still, he stops and only halfway turns to look back at the sorry excuse for his ex-Lord Commander as he lays on the ground and weeps with grief over his daughter. There is no telling if their world as they know it still exists, yet Barnabas has reason to assume it must in some way. After all, they are from different points in time, and so depending on what allowed them to be here in the first place, this would greatly impact what state their world is likely in.
And he cannot accept that their world has been destroyed. There must be some explanation that makes sense.]
Cidolfus, to your feet.
[He has never been good at comforting much of anyone. Not even himself.]
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